As we turn the page to a new year, I find myself reflecting deeply on the journey that has brought me here. Eighteen years ago, my life changed forever after a near-fatal strangulation. That event, compounded by a lifetime of unresolved childhood trauma, set me on a path of chaos and survival. For so long, I lived in a constant state of fight-or-flight, with my emotional brain taking the lead in decision-making. This way of living left pain and destruction not only in my life but in the lives of those around me.

In 2015, driven by pain, anger, and a longing for justice, I founded Standing Courageous, a nonprofit organization dedicated to educating others about domestic violence and strangulation. I was reeling from nearly being murdered by someone who said they loved me, and even more so from the betrayal of my father, who supported my abuser and blamed me for what happened. My anger, hurt, and feelings of injustice were poured into this work.

Looking back, I can see that much of my initial motivation came from a place of unhealed wounds. My social media posts from that time reflect my raw emotions and jaded perspective. I used phrases like “all men,” “law enforcement,” and “the courts,” lumping entire groups of people together in blame rather than viewing my circumstances rationally. I now understand how much my unresolved trauma influenced my actions. The Paula I am today would approach those situations differently, with grace and accountability—a testament to the growth and healing I’ve experienced.

From 2006 to 2019, my life was on a slow and steady decline. Chronic health issues led me to over 50 doctors, leaving me lost in a maze of medical mayhem. In an attempt to escape my inner turmoil, I moved to a different state, not realizing that the true problem was inside me. That’s the thing about trauma: it’s an invisible wound that quietly takes over, leading to addictions, mental health struggles, and chronic medical conditions. I now recognize how deeply those invisible wounds affected my relationships, behaviors, and decisions. I can’t even begin to count how many people were impacted by the broken, angry, and neglected little girl still trapped inside of me.

In 2019, my healing journey took a pivotal turn. A visit to a functional neurologist changed everything. I was diagnosed with a brain injury, and for the first time, I began to understand how trauma had impacted my brain, body, and overall health. That moment was the key to unlocking the prison that held the little girl within me. Over the last five and a half years, I’ve worked tirelessly to rewire my brain and free myself from the rat wheel of living in survival mode. Though healing is a lifelong journey, I’ve made incredible progress.

Today, on January 1, 2025, I stand here with a clearer mind and a stronger sense of purpose. I’ve learned to plan my days with intention and approach life from a place of rationality rather than an emotional reaction. This year, I’m dedicating myself to sharing my story more openly. Through my podcast, vlog, blog, and social media, I’ll highlight my journey: where I’ve been, where I am now, and where I’m headed. I’ll reflect on the impact of trauma, share lessons learned, and offer hope to those who may feel trapped in their own pain.

I know that sharing my story won’t always be easy. I’ve learned that my posts sometimes make people uncomfortable, and engagement is often minimal. But I’ve realized that doesn’t mean my words aren’t reaching others. I’ve often found myself silently reflecting on things that convict me, taking small steps toward change without engaging publicly. If my story can spark that kind of reflection in someone else, then every word is worth it.

This year, my prayer is simple: that my journey will find its way to those who need it most. To the hurting, the broken, the sick, and the lost—I hope to inspire you to take your first courageous step toward healing. Trauma doesn’t have to define your story. Healing is possible, and it starts with understanding, reflection, and a willingness to grow.

Here’s to a year of courage, growth, and transformation. Let’s walk this journey together.