There was a time—not that long ago—when I could justify nearly everything that was keeping me stuck.
I was tired.
Life was chaotic.
My trauma was too deep.
People didn’t understand.
It wasn’t the right time.

And honestly… those weren’t lies.
They were true.
But they were also excuses.
And no matter how valid they were, they weren’t helping me heal. They were keeping me trapped in a cycle of emotional survival instead of stepping into the freedom of rational healing.

The Wake-Up Call That Hit Like a Brick

A while ago, someone walking this healing journey with me said something that I’ll never forget. They looked at me and said:

“You’ve moved cities. You’ve changed jobs. You’ve been in and out of relationships. But Paula… you haven’t changed you.”

Ouch.

I wanted to defend myself.
I wanted to explain why that wasn’t fair.
But deep down, I knew it was the truth.
I was still operating from the emotional brain—reacting, surviving, avoiding. I hadn’t yet committed to the kind of uncomfortable accountability that would actually transform me.

And that was the moment everything started to shift.

Excuses Are Comfortable. Accountability Isn’t.

We live in a culture that glorifies victimhood and distraction. We avoid pain by numbing, scrolling, blaming, busying, or pretending. We convince ourselves that if we just fix our circumstances—change our job, find a new relationship, move to a new town—then we’ll heal.

But healing doesn’t come from changing what’s around you.
It comes from changing what’s within you.

I learned this the hard way—when the people I trusted turned their backs, when the toxic work environments made me question my worth, when my body gave out under the weight of unresolved trauma. I had to step back from social media, from speaking, from pouring into others—because I needed to pour into myself.

I wasn’t in a place to give advice about healing when I was barely hanging on myself.

Living in the Emotional Brain

The emotional brain is wired for survival.
When you’ve experienced trauma—especially from a young age—you live in a constant state of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. You feel like everything is a crisis. You either explode, shut down, or numb out. And it feels like you’re surviving. Because you are.

But survival isn’t healing.
It’s exhausting.
It’s lonely.
And eventually, it becomes a cage.

The Power of Shifting Into the Rational Brain

Healing happens when you learn to pause.
To respond, not react.
To ask, “Am I acting from my emotional brain, or my rational brain?”

When I started asking that question—daily, hourly, sometimes minute by minute—everything changed.

I started getting up early again.
I re-established my routines: devotional time, reflection, writing down my goals, making amends, tracking my habits, moving my body, caring for my soul.

Not because it was easy.
But because it was necessary.

Accountability Isn’t Perfection—It’s Ownership

I’ve had moments recently where I got public feedback that stung. I’ve been called scatterbrained in professional settings because of a rough brain day from past injury. And yeah, it hurt. But it didn’t define me.

It made me pause.
Ask myself: Did I act out of emotion? Was there intent to harm?
If not, I let it go.

Because accountability doesn’t mean never falling. It means being honest when you do—and learning how to get back up stronger.

You’re Not Broken—You’re Unpracticed

I say this with love and fierce belief in your potential:
If you’re stuck in excuses, you’re not broken.
You’re just unpracticed in accountability.

But that can change.
Today.

Start with one habit.
Drink more water.
Go for a short walk.
Write one truth down in your journal.
Look yourself in the mirror and say, “We’re going to do this.”

You don’t have to change everything overnight.
But you do have to start.

A Reflection for You:

Take a deep breath.
Sit still for a minute.
And ask yourself:

• What’s one excuse I keep repeating that’s keeping me stuck?

• What would the healthiest version of me choose to do today?

• Where am I placing blame instead of taking ownership?

These questions aren’t meant to shame you.
They’re meant to empower you.
Because the version of you five years from now will be shaped by the choices you make today.

Final Thoughts

Healing is hard.
Choosing accountability is lonely at first.
You’ll be called “too much.” You’ll be misunderstood.
But keep going.

Discipline isn’t punishment.
It’s self-love.
Accountability isn’t harsh.
It’s protection.

The person you want to be is waiting on the other side of the truth you’ve been avoiding. You were made for more than survival. And you’re not doing this alone.

Come walk this journey with me.
Let’s stop making excuses—and start healing, together.

💬 Drop a comment and share what excuse you’re releasing today
📝 And stay tuned for my next episode and blog, where we’ll talk about how to rewire your brain for peace, regulation, and freedom

You’ve got this. I believe in you—because I am you.

With courage,
Paula