Yesterday was Thanksgiving, and it was one of the most meaningful and memorable ones I’ve ever experienced. For years, I’ve grappled with two questions—questions I’m frequently asked during my trainings but have never been able to fully answer: How did someone like my mom end up with someone like my dad? and Why did she stay with him?
Yesterday, while sitting at the table with my mom, she gave me the answer. She knew it. It was an ah-ha moment, a moment where everything I teach and share on social media clicked into place. It felt like a divine confirmation—a Godwink—reassuring me that the path I’m walking is exactly where I’m meant to be.
For a while now, I’ve felt a nudge to create something new, something deeply impactful. But I wasn’t sure if it was the right direction. Yesterday, I got my answer.
Later that evening, as we drove home from my mom’s, I received a call from someone I’d only spoken to once before. She reached out because she felt I could truly understand her struggles and the complex dynamics she was navigating. That call solidified something I’ve been wrestling with: the decision to start a support community for survivors of layered trauma.
Too often, the systems meant to help survivors—medical, mental health, and social support—are siloed, leaving people to navigate these intersections on their own. Survivors deserve a safe, supportive space to unravel and heal the complexities of their experiences, and I’m committed to building that space.
Finding Purpose Through Reflection
In recent months, I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching. I’ve been focusing on God, seeking truth, and uncovering my divine purpose. This clarity has fueled a meticulous 56-week strategic plan to unify all aspects of The Courageous Survivor work.
In 2025, I will invite people to join me on a 52-week journey through my life as I write my book, The Courageous Journey. Each week, through my social media platforms, podcast, and blog, I’ll share the chaos and brokenness of my past and how I’ve transitioned to living boldly and intentionally today. I’ll also chronicle my daily efforts to heal decades of trauma and its impacts, including living with a brain injury.
There are millions of people like me—survivors navigating a system that often overlooks our needs. I am committed to advocating for survivors and pushing for systemic change.
A Message of Peace
While preparing for this next chapter, I’ve been decluttering my life, removing distractions to focus on what truly matters. In the process, I found a birthday card my mom gave me a few years ago. At the time, her wish for me—to find peace—upset me because I didn’t understand it.
Now, I do.
At that time, I didn’t know I was missing peace because I’d never experienced it. But through my healing journey, I’ve come to know exactly what it feels like. Yesterday, I had another realization: my deepest wish for my mom is peace. I see how holding onto the secrets of the past has shaped her life, her decisions, and even her health. I can’t help but wonder how things might have been different if she had unpacked her trauma years ago. Science tells us it would have mattered.
Looking Ahead
I’m excited to bring people along on this journey. I pray for the strength to be vulnerable, honest, and open as I peel back the layers of my own trauma. My hope is that by sharing my deepest wounds and secrets, I can help others understand the broader implications of being trauma-informed.
My ultimate goal is to change the conversation from “What’s wrong with them?” to “What happened to them?” Trauma is at the root of so much, and as a society, we need to fully grasp its impact.
This Thanksgiving reminded me that I am on the right path. I’m ready to step into 2025 with purpose, determination, and a heart full of gratitude for the opportunity to create change—not just for myself, but for others walking a similar journey.
Paula